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animus_occulte


quicksliver1988@hotmail.com

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<< March 2005 >> Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31

Music - music is that thing that sounds horrible to some and produces moments of enlightenment in others. It's hard or soft, it's light, heavy, instrumental, vocal, live, recorded, synthesized - and I love it all. And this love was a natural, evolving thing. It started with the newer things, such as Wierd Al, Iron savior, and moved on to the classics, Nirvana, Zepplin, Queen, etc. A song I hear on some site, stuck in my head for a day or two, grows on me. Finding old favorites from so long ago, also great. Finding out abotu an album that is truly great, with few or no filler songs, now that's the jackpot. Some examples of this are (in my opinion) Californication, The Wall, Dark Side of the Moon, Dookie (and perhaps American Idiot, though I've not heard much form it), Yellow Submarine, etc. Californication I would strongly recomend for anyone - great guitar work, all very smooth, relaxing, RHCP, what can I say.

Oh well, enough about my music preferences, hope everyone out there has a favorite or two that keeps a barrier between them and complete insanity, or, for some people, from sanity.

People - they confuse me. It doesn't really get much simpler than that. People are this thing, a little like... I can't think of a good analogy, but you can go living your entire life without them, and then suddenly, somehow, they become a central focus in your life. Whether it's that one person that brings you out of your shell, or a group of people who are too much fun to avoid being around, in the need you need them. Having friends isn't a bad thing though; it helps with a lot of things: deppression, anxiety, bad times - kinda like drugs, but without your brain turning into a pile of mush, that and they actually solve the problem, unlike drugs which just push it aside.

I recently had a revelation on that same note, and I guess everyone goes through it at some point. The question that pushed me was "If <name of person> died, or left your life completely, what would you do?", and I realised that there are indeed a few people in this world without whom I'd be lost. This was striking to me since I've always held my solitude in high esteem - sure i had friends, but nobody who, if they were taken out of the picture, would leave a hole too big to cover up.

To quote Pink Floyd : "Tear down the wall!". If you picture the mind, heart, and soul, as a castle, mine have always had the top of the line defenses, ten foot reinforced steel and concrete walls, turret placements, trick doors, the works; now, some people have helped me tear down a few things, and though they probably dont realise it, they could walk into the proverbial throne room without meeting resistance, and though this is in some ways a welcome thought (it'd been lonely up in my head all these years), it's also scary - to show yourself as you truly are, completely and utterly (in your mind and heart at least), that is somethign that few people truly do (or so I think). It takes courage, and a knowledge that the others who walk with you will do no harm, and for us paranoids who barely trust ourselves, it's a bit hard. it also takes courage and sympathy on the part of the other people - they are treading on sacred ground, specifically, one of the few places people have entirely to themselves in these modern days.

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